So, Will Smith is having one of those days. He’s beefing with his agent and really doesn’t want to present at the Oscars, but he goes through with it anyway. Then, things take a wild turn. Will gets up on stage, smacks Chris Rock, and bam—that’s when Chris snaps. He’s had enough. Even though Will’s a much bigger guy, Chris winds up and pow—slaps Will Smith right back.
The audience? Completely shocked. It’s obvious now—this isn’t some comedy skit. It’s a real brawl on live TV. Will, stunned that Chris hit him back, freezes. He looks into the crowd at Jada, his wife, and she’s sitting there, disappointed, with that infamous scowl. All Will wants is to impress Jada, maybe so she’ll stop, well, entangling with other men. But things just aren’t going his way.
Security rushes in and pulls them apart. A humiliated Will sits backstage, waiting for Jada, but she’s already gone—off to one of her boyfriend’s places. The next morning, Will’s back at his mansion, sitting on his bed, depressed. Jada still hasn’t come home. That’s when Jaden, his son, walks in.
Jaden sees his dad looking miserable and offers, “Hey Dad, you wanna hear some of my poetry?” Will, already on the edge, groans, “God, no, not the poetry.” But Jaden keeps going: “When the waterfall poops on the sunshine, and the kung fu koala bear...” Will finally snaps, “I don’t care about your weird poems! Get out of my house!”
Just then, they hear a car pull up. Jada’s home. Will, desperate, rushes to the door with flowers and chocolates, begging, “Please, don’t be mad at me, baby.” But Jada just shakes her head and says, “You got punked by Little Chris Rock. Tupac would’ve never gotten punked like that.”
Desperate to win her approval, Will blurts out, “I’ll slap anyone you want!” Jada, seeing her moment, says, “Prove it.”
She starts small: “Slap the butler.” Will doesn’t hesitate. Pow—he slaps the butler. Then she says, “Slap the chef.” Whack—chef slapped. It keeps going. The cleaning lady? Slapped. Groundskeeper? Slapped. Pool boy? Slapped. Even Jaden gets slapped! Jada’s like, “I didn’t tell you to slap Jaden,” but Will shrugs, “He was about to read another poem!” Jada just nods, “Fair enough.”
For the rest of the day, Jada keeps giving orders, and Will keeps slapping people left and right, trying to win her approval. Then, the doorbell rings.
Will opens the door to find a very polite police officer standing there. “Mr. Smith, we got a report that you slapped your cleaning lady,” he says. Will, panicking, says, “No, no! I didn’t do it. I don’t even cuss in my raps!” But as he stands there, Will can’t help but focus on the side of the officer’s face. It’s like the universe is telling him—this is your moment.
Will winds up and wham—slaps the cop. The officer, stunned, hits the ground. For a brief second, Jada’s impressed. But then it hits Will—he just slapped a cop. The officer gets up and says, “You’re under arrest.”
Will panics and bolts out the door. He jumps into his limo, but soon, a fleet of police cars is on his tail, sirens blaring. They throw down a spike strip—kapow—tires blow out. The limo crashes.
Will climbs out, unhurt, but the police have him surrounded. They send in a canine unit, and—smack—Will slaps the dog! “Don’t mess with me!” he yells. “I was in Bad Boys 4!” The cops just roll their eyes, “Whatever, Fresh Prince,” and bam, they arrest him.
Now, Will’s sitting in jail, devastated, waiting for Jada to visit. But, of course, she doesn’t. She’s too busy entangling with some of the cops who arrested him. The only person who shows up? Jaden. And guess what? He’s got more poetry.
Womp womp.
Post a Comment